Chile Trip Update

This morning we had our first of six meetings with those that are preparing to be part of the NTI team heading to Lican Ray, Chile this fall. Nothing like meeting together, knowing that we are now on a countdown, to get you wound up and excited to go! I was responsible for part of the meeting that had to do with flight details, arrival information, what to bring, etc. I can't talk, even type, about it without getting goosebumps I's sooo excited! I love Chile, I love missions, I love my family, I love going on trips, I love taking other people back to my childhood home and seeing it for the firstime through their eyes - roll those things all into one and I'm one happy camper=)

But I feel like I've ridden the roller coaster ride of emotions as far as this trip goes! I've gone from being excited to go, to depressed that I can't, back to having faith that I will go, then to resignation and acceptance that I won't, then recently getting excited about cheaper tickets making it possible for us to all consider going only to find out those prices don't apply to the dates we need to be there for - ahhh! In my head (which is a scary place BTW) I've accepted and acknowledged that God knows best and He can provide above and beyond what we need and He decides if we go or stay. And I'm fine with that...in my head. The other more emotional part of me is having a harder time trying to decide how I really should feel about it. On one hand I have faith that the Lord can supply the amount we need, so I want to go about knowing that He will and start getting ready to make the trip. On the other hand, if it's not His will, I don't want to get my hopes up so I sometimes go around assuming it won't work out and begin to plan for the time that Matthew and the older 2 kids will be gone for 6-7 weeks and I'll be here alone...with 3 small children!

Sometimes I just want to know - either way - I just want to know so my little brain can try and wrap itself around the millions of things I'll need to do to get our family of seven ready to go and be there for a month and a half OR if I need to start planning how I'm going to crawl to my parents door step begging for some moral support and adult interaction for this extended period of time with half my family missing!?!?

So, does the Lord know yet if we should go or not? Of course He does, but He has chosen to keep us relying and trusting in Him until the time comes when the decision is made. And then, a week or so from now when the money is either here or it is not, we will know. After that the next step of faith will come, trusting Him to help Matthew and I orchestrate all the details of taking a bunch of people overseas for several weeks or trusting Him to help us individually deal with things apart from each other for a loooong time.

In my own mind the best thing for our family would be to stay together, working side by side to accomplish the goals of NTI, being together as a couple so that throughout the 'busy-ness' of Matthew's day I can be there to support and encourage him, spending time with the missionaries there who are eager for Christian fellowship in this remote area of Chile, helping the team members open their eyes to the fields white unto harvest, to end the day tucking all five of our children into bed as we teach them the value of a servants heart and a love for missions. But maybe the Lord has different lessons to teach us, after all....

Isaiah 55:8-9
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.